Being married for almost forty years is regarded as a huge achievement, something many people envy. If they only knew the truth about my relationship.
Tony and I are the textbook case of childhood sweethearts. We met in the middle of high school and have not left each other’s side since.
We married young and started a family, having the first of four children at only eighteen.
We bought a small business together and worked extremely hard, watching it grown steadily. Our one business quickly turned in to two, then three; before we knew it we owned an entire franchise accumulating wealth beyond our wildest dreams.
We purchased a gorgeous family home, put our children through private schools and enjoyed overseas holidays twice a year.
Although we co-owned the business, it was all in Tony’s name – that is just the way things were in those days. I had to pinch myself sometimes reflecting over the amazing life Tony and I had made from ourselves, considering we both came from little.
Until one day I received a call at home.
Almost immediately the woman began sobbing down the line gasping for air. “Sarah?” she finally croaked “I have been having an affair with your husband Tony. I didn’t know he had a wife and children – I broke it off as soon as I found out. I am so sorry. I think you have the right to know”.
I almost dropped the receiver. I contemplated for a brief moment trying to organise my racing mind. Holding back the tears I said sternly “If there is one thing you can do for me, do not let Tony know you rang”.
I hung up and I never heard from her again.
Although I was devastated beyond belief at Tony’s betrayal, when I put my children to sleep that night, I thought of a reality far worse. Having to confront Tony, leave our family home, penniless and heartbroken. Not to mention the years in court fighting over the custody of our children and assets.
I wasn’t materialistic but I wasn’t ready to let go of everything I had worked so hard for. Back then no laws existed to protect spouses, especially women, in these sorts of situations, I had actually never even heard of a pre-nuptial agreement until the time of my predicament. I realised I could lose everything – not just my cheating husband.
With the advice of a close friend who was a solicitor and summoning all my courage, I decided to stay – mainly for my children, to preserve the life that they so enjoyed and deserved.
I have never breathed a single word to Tony about the call I received that day. I do not know if their relationship stopped there or continued. I don’t know if he has had other affairs since, I suspect he has.
Over the years things between my husband and I remain strained on my end. I find I can’t enjoy his company and I have no interest in being intimate with him.
However, every time I think of his affair almost thirty years ago I remind myself this is the decision I made and the life I choose to live. I don’t have a loyal husband but I have more than I could have ever asked for.
Your say: Have you ever discovered an affair or been caught out? Share your thoughts below.
